Sunday, August 31, 2008

Toilet Paper

there are two types of people in the india house.
A: who forget to take the toilet paper to the loo.
B: who forget the toilet paper in the loo.
Thankfully, I belong to the former [note to self: nobody from India house Paris reads this].
Well sometime ago after a nice meal I decided to go. And when you gotta go you gotta go, and though I did not forget to take a magazine the idea of a toilet paper totally escaped my mind.
I completed an interesting article on the recent trends in men's perfumes and that low prices meant one could get a decent Versache suit for $800 only [note to self:why did I read that?] and started looking for the charity of the type B people. Surely up on the divider between the two stalls was a healthy roll of paper.
I reached up and was helping myself to it [note to others: yeah? try putting it in a better way!] when I sensed movement in the other stall. Yes my friends sometimes even at 11:30 in the night there is life on the other side. I know we use the word too often but this is where the word 'shit' was born. The person on the other side was moving around and from voice I realized it was a firang! This guy is thinking aloud, "I am pretty sure I brought it, damn!!
I am frozen, the little voice is going Shubho - think, think.
Then i had one of the eureka moments. I realized, i had been so quiet the dude on the other side had not realized that there was someone beyond the great divide. Without flushing, I opened the door with a loud noise, and then said to myself as loudly as possible in this situation, "Why do people leave the toilet paper on the floor! This is disgusting!" and as predicted the voice from the other side goes "umm, sir I think my roll, fell on the other side, could you just pass it please." I go "shuure" and replace it on the wall, wait for some time to make it look I am pissing, flush and walk out.
[note to others: EEEVAAAL]